Another Day

Does it seem that some people are just so needy that they can't do anything without assistance? I am literally exhausted-body, mind, soul, and spirit. For once, why can't I have someone take care of me. I know I am the mom and I take joy in caring for my babies, but lately it is such a battle. Will I ever get rest? I feel so trapped in my ever-shrinking world. Has life ever made you feel claustrophobic? I already feel that myself-my soul and spirit-have died. I am no one but an outer shell, manuevering around the world and doing as I am supposed to. I have to literally make myself get out of the bed and get ready for my 2 weeks remaining job. Then I make myself get the babies ready. Sometimes I do feel a little joy doing this but my joy is gone. Then I fight to stay awake on the trip to work, just this morning I dozed off 4 times. But I made it safely in one piece. Now to survive today......

Happy Birthday!

How to you wish someone a happy birthday that has already passed, especially knowing that their days are continously filled with happiness and joy? I miss you, Mawmaw, and I wonder how I've made it 4 years without you.

I love you!
~Michelle

Thoughts...

DELETED

Our Book

Our book will continue to be written
But a chapter has come to an end.
We met each other for a reason
And each of us has become a friend.

Some of them we’ve known for days
While others we’ve known for years.
We have shared joy and laughter
And have helped while we shed our tears.

Our hearts have been hurt and broken
By the unexpected ending we were dealt.
But our friendships do not have to end here
Our joy and laughter can continue to be felt.

True friends are and will be forever
And all of our past moments have mattered.
It doesn’t matter what we do or where we go
Everyone will be remembered.

~Michelle Huffstickle
April 21, 2009

Dedicated to all my friends at The Employment Guide--You will be missed!

Easter Egg Dyeing

UPDATE: I fixed the pictures!

So today didn't go so well when it came to dyeing easter eggs for my two precious boys. I got off to an early start thinking that this was going to be a breeze.

I am needing new pots and pans desparetly so my largest pot would only hold 12 eggs. So I loaded it up and said okay, this
won't take too long. Out of my first dozen, 4 cracked. So okay on to my next dozen-in the pot they go. Would you believe that out 24 eggs, I now had 17 good and 7 cracked!

Now I know how to cook and I've made many meals for my family and none were horrible but I went straight to GOOGLE and typed "how to boil an egg"--yes, I did. I read a few websites and attempted with 8 more eggs. I only needed 7 to get my dozen per son. So I did exactly like the websites said-I had a whole 3 un-cracked out of the 8.

I gave up for a whole and went to my cousin's baby shower. In the meantime, I had posted my stressful situation on facebook and with MUCH GRATITUDE to Beckie, she replied with directions. Once back home and after getting the boys supper, I attempted again with 6 eggs and followed Beckie's instructions to a tee and voila--NO CRACKED EGGS!

I had big plans of the three of us (Mommy and 2 boys) enjoying egg dyeing.

But my two precious, awesome angels didn't get there naps today. So here is what one thought of this adventure:

And the other just would not cooperate!

So after 3 1/2 hours two dozen eggs are dyed.

Friday Morning, April 3rd, 2009

It was a wonderful morning this morning with the boys, although it would have been greatly appreciated it Daddy would have helped. Matthew woke up all by himself at 6:00am and ready to go to "Lori's." However, it sounds like "Rories."

Austin was ready to go to and wanting up out of the crib. I dressed him in his black "lock up your daughters" t-shirt, camo pants, and his combat boots. Tough looking but it was canceled out by his bouncy curls and his dimples that are to die for! :)

I hope that they enjoy their day running and playing. I miss them everyday while they are there and I'm at work.

We are having a yard sale tomorrow in RH on Albright Rd. Need any baby clothes? I'm sorry Baby BOY clothes, Please come!

Austin

My little baby isn't so little any more. He is growing up so fast! He is learning to walk and he does say a few words. Momma, Daddy, Hey, and Bye. He is as strong as an ox. You should see him pushing this brother around on a bench! Crazy! He also is trying to eat out of a spoon too. I wish I could just squish him back up into a little baby and make him stay that way.

Matthew's Progress

I am completely astonished out how much Matthew has progressed. He is counting to 12 by himself, singing songs and correctly identifying colors. He is beginning to learn to share with Austin but the two still fight like cats and dogs. His speech therapist is working with him on his "P's", "G's" and "K's". These are the letters that he has the most trouble with. He is following two-to-three directional instructions. He continues to make progress in his holding eye contact during activities and interaction. He hasn't had a meltdown in forever! He seems to be more accepting for physical contact which I love because I just love to hold and kiss him! He does still have some bad mornings but they are never as bad as they used to be. He is a "home-body" and as much as he loves his school, he just doesn't want to leave the house on some mornings.

Our next adventure, Potty Training.

Another Meltdown

This morning was another bad morning for Matthew. The only trigger I can think of is the late start due to the weather. We fought the entire time trying to get him dressed and he cried all the way to the daycare, screaming and flailing his body. He screamed, "Mommy, home!" and then when we got to the daycare, he screamed, "Mommy, No, Door!" He wanted me to close the car door and not get him out. He kicked at me the whole time I tried to release the straps on his car seat. Then finally once he was unbuckeled, he grabbed ahold of the car seat and would not let go. I had to pull him out the car with him screaming and crying. I carried him in and all the ladies, daddy and I tried to soothe him but with no luck. Finally, they pried him from my arms so that I could leave and go to work. I heard him screaming and crying as I left the building and even as I got into my car. Then my tears flowed. I just wished that I could take it all away for him.

“This is the way we take our bath” Story of Progress!

For as far back as I can remember I’ve tried to always sing the bath song while I give the boys their baths. I changed the original lyrics from “early in the morning” to “before we go to bed” because bath time is always before bedtime. Last night while giving Matthew his bath, I was singing the song and I noticed Matthew was saying something while I sang “before we go to bed.” So the next time around the song, I quieted my portion of the song to hear what he was saying. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He was singing “early in the morning!” I was ecstatic! So immediately, I sang again and used his version. We sang the song over and over and over again! I loved hearing him sing. It is just beautiful. Oh, how my heart is overfilled with joy and love for my little sunshine.

A Morning of a Day in the Life of a Parent of an Autistic Child a Child with Autism

A Morning of a Day in the Life of a Parent of an Autistic Child a Child with Autism

The first thing you ask yourself is how is he going to react? Is he going to want to get out of bed and is he going to want to let you get him dressed?

Then you put on a brave face and just do it. “Wake up, sunshine!” and we wait to see his reaction. Is it pleasant or angry? This morning, it is pleasant. So far so good. We get him up and move to the living room where we watch a little TV before getting dressed.

Now its time to change clothes. He doesn’t want to take his attention off of the program. Not good. He starts fighting and pushing me away as I try to change his diaper. Okay-I’ll try another angle. This time, he kicks me. I try reasoning with him but he doesn’t respond. He continues to fight me. I have the diaper on, now for the socks. I grab a foot as it kicks at me and quickly put the sock on. I grab the other foot and do the same. Okay, now for the pants-it is very difficult for this squirming defiant character. Finally both legs are in the pants and I struggle to stand him up to pull them all the way up. There. He snatches his little body from my arms and throws himself backwards and cries. As he is thrashing around I manage to get his PJ top over his head and then struggle again to put on his top and sweatshirt. Okay. Now its time for the shoes. I grab a kicking leg and manage to hold his foot still long enough for me to fasten the Velcro and attempt to grab the other foot. He is constantly kicking. There. Okay time for me to grab my shoes. “No, Matthew. Leave your shoes on!” Back over to put his shoes back on.

Now, we are ready to walk out the door. With Matthew in my arms, crying and arching his back to try to pull away, I manage to get him to the car. With fists flying and foot kicking, I eventually get him buckled in!

With both boys safely in the car seats, we’re off to daycare-with Matthew screaming all the way.